After the death of Sushant Singh Rajput, filmmaker Deepti Naval has shared her poem Black Wind that she had written years ago when she was fighting depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts
Many celebs are also shattered by the news of Sushant Singh Rajput's death due to depression. While some of them spoke about mental health, others have shared their struggle in the past. Deepti Naval has looked back on her struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts in the early 1990s.
Deepti Naval took to her Facebook page to open up about her struggle through a poem. She wrote, "Dark days these . . . So much has been happening - mind has come to a point of stillness . . . or rather numbness. Today I feel like sharing a poem I wrote back in the years when I was fighting depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts - fighting hard - and like how! Let me find the courage to share these very personal thoughts with you all today."
Actress Deepti Naval went on to share her poem, titled "Black Wind", in which she has penned her emotion of trying to escape anxiety the night of July 28, 1991. The following is her poem shared on her Facebook page.
Anxiety grips me with both hands
Wounds open up and bleed . . .
Spiked claws dig deep into my soul
I gasp for breath and stagger around
Sharp corners of my single bed
A dark belligerent sea rises in anger
The night has a deadly mission, I can see
I will not succumb to its ghoulish lust
Pull the shutters down
Block all sound
Slam it out
Clamp it!
Not in here, it can't get to me
The telephone rings . . . no, it stops . . .
God damn! Why don't anyone speak?
A voice,
Just a human voice
In this shameless, pitiless
Abyss of the night –
Gloom deepens into darkness, turns purple
I feel dark inside . . .
They are here, they drive me
Dark shadows in my room
'Go jump!
One leap across the railing -
That's all it takes!
Rain slashes down my window
Beats it blue!
A dagger pierces the gut, my sanity reels
'Yes .. . one leap . . . that's all . . . I know!'
'Do it! Have the guts! Jump!'
Demons from the sea
Stalk towards me stealthily . . .
I lurch back and grabble for reason
'. . . but... my life . . . my art . . . ?'
'Rotten life! Rotten art! Rotten relationships!
Strip every moment to stark nakedness
Think hard! Debate! Why should you live? Why?'
Hurled in a corner, I live and relive my life
Closing in on me, inch by deathly inch -
Vicious, spiteful beings
Hissing . . . hissing . . .
'Your life's a mess! End it!'
'Yes . . . I . . . I. . .'
'A snake pit! That's what the world is! Quit!'
'But I have books, friends... my music . . .'
Laughter hollers! Like wind's unbeaten track!
'Hypocrisy! Masks! People tearing people!'
'But there's my work...'
'Pressure, competition, failure! An endless struggle!'
'I'll survive'.
'Need the killer's instinct! Have it?'
'There's bougainvillaea... and long distance calls...'
Ha!
'...mountains . . . movies . . . monsoons . . .'
'Escape . . . escape . . . escape . . . '
'Van Gogh's cypresses, and ... evenings in hills'
'You'll never learn!'
'Mustard fields...and, . . . motherhood?'
'Bad dreams! ...Give it up!'
'There's memories and .. . letters home'
'Emptiness! Loneliness! End it now! End it!'
'Making love . . .'
'Making what? Everyone uses everyone!'
'There's hope... isn't there?'
'It's a four letter word! End it now, you worm!'
'. . . and faith?'
'Regret! Shame! Guilt!'
'Love'
Futile . . .'
'God?'
'Guilt! Guilt!'
'STOP IT . . .! ! !'
A black wind howls through the wet marsh...
The sea witnesses an undefended siege –
I will survive this night, its deathly design;
I will fight!
The world's a snake pit, so let it be!
I dare the devil to get the better of me!
