Having a baby doesn't mean being prepared for every oddity that might come one's way. And for most women, post-partum depression is a thing too. But not for Jo Piazza.
The young mother of a three-month-old baby went on a solo trip, leaving her newborn at home, all for a little time to her own self – and many agree, it's a healthy thing to do.
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In the middle of editing a novel, Jo figured out she wasn't capable of concentrating at home. Moreover, trying to juggle work and dealing with the needs of a newborn seemed to be quite overwhelming for her. Which is what spurred her to go on a trip for a couple of days.
And it was the very first time that Jo was leaving her newborn alone behind, which she later realized was something actually beneficial for her overall wellbeing.
"I told myself I need two days of silence to read through the manuscript and write," she mentioned in an essay she wrote for Elle magazine. "But what I really needed were two nights of uninterrupted sleep to try to make my brain function the way it did before hormones and lack of sleep drove a truck through my prefrontal cortex."
So she left her newborn at home with her husband and decided to zoom off; something that she also says helped her think about and appreciate a lot of things she had grown out of owing to her current engagements.
"Being in the car with my son, who despises his car seat with the vigour of a caged chimpanzee, is so fraught I'd forgotten I ever enjoyed being in the car," she says.
"The most wonderful moment of the morning was realising I could open my eyes and not have to move. I didn't have to be anyone's mum from the second I placed my feet on the floor next to the bed. I could just be a person."
What she also learnt from the trip was a returning sense of identity as her own person. Jo revealed that being a mother had stuck with her in a way where she couldn't tell herself apart from the responsibility.
But finally, on the trip, she was able to collect and focus on her own self, and side by side, also finish her work in the process.
"Three months into being a mother I had to leave my baby in order to learn how to miss him."
And surprisingly enough, many fellow mothers seemed to resonate with the same idea. "Motherhood is a difficult balance and no matter WHAT you do, the shamers emerge," one woman commented on Facebook. "Your baby is loved and cared for, and your mental wellbeing matters too!"
So it's certified: leaving one's baby behind for some much needed personal time does NOT account for being labelled a bad mother!
