One man with a hammer-like thingy; eight tables watching that one man like a hawk, while raising a table-tennis racquet (only a little bigger, maybe more like a squash racquet) like thingy, with cricketers from around the world, sitting in their sofas, pretending to not care a hoot about what is going on.
Then there is the Indian and world fans and media, who unabashedly watches every single moment with gleeful fun and then there's the other one, from a former empire, who watch the proceedings with a bit of an air and a "what is this, this just isn't cricket" expression.
At the end of it all, there will be numerous channels analysing the events that just unfolded with a few players giving interviews via phone, while professing their love to a certain franchise, they, had so much money not poured in, would have otherwise had absolutely no affinity towards.
Welcome to the big, bad, wonderfully-exciting world of the IPL auction.
Understand this: if you ever watch the IPL auction, from beginning to end, holding on to every single word from Richard Madley and then listening to the sometimes-lazy – "this is the kind of wicket, where if you pick up one wicket, you can pick three or four," Umm, sir, this is the IPL auction. "Oh yes of course. This is the arena where dreams are made, where a player turns from a nobody into a somebody, where a Chris Gayle can transform one team into the title challengers." Sir, Gayle is not in this auction. "Oh right you are. Where a Ben Stokes can transform a team and take them to the title." Much better.
Let's continue shall we?
Sometimes-astute analysis from the "experts", you will never be the same again.
Life, as you know it, will change. Everything will seem a little different.
Take it in the positive and you will start smelling the roses and expecting everything in this world to be right again.
But, take it in the negative and the world will seem like a cruel, cruel place, with the earth just about ready to cave in (Oh wait, did I just move into an Arsenal piece by mistake. Brace yourselves chaps, Arsene Wenger is staying for another four years).
For many, the IPL auction is the "fun and exciting" bit about the Indian Premier League. And who can blame them.
Where else would you see players willingly putting themselves up on the auction block – 351 of them for the 2017 edition of the blockbuster reality TV show – while silently praying multiple teams start raising those TT racquet-like thingy (oh ok, ok squash) to turn them into an overnight millionaire.
Ironically, the player most likely to garner the most number of bids is from a country that has more often than not shorn themselves of all this IPL malarkey.
But, under pressure and with the "director" now in charge of the "we are the epitome of staying on our high horses and refusing to move with the times" board, some of them have been brought back down to earth, and as a result, the players are set to make their presences felt in the IPL "extravaganza" (isn't that what everyone keeps calling it).
So, here we are then, getting ready to watch one of the most popular reality TV shows in the world (yes, Kardashians, the IPL auction is more popular – A 100 million viewers are expected to tune in), with every bang of the gavel, every raise of the paddle set to set those pulses racing.
