Where would reality television be without Simon Cowell's absurd yet heartbreaking and blatant comments? The media mogul, who has appeared on popular music competitions like "American Idol", "Britian's Got Talent" and UK's "X Factor", always expresses his brutally honest opinion at the end of a participant's audition. In fact, he grabbed the No. 10 spot in TV Guide's list of 60 Nastiest Villains of All Time.

And, as Cowell turns 55 on Wednesday, 7 October, it is but fitting to celebrate his big day by taking a peek into his mind and reminiscing some of his bizarre, mean and congratulatory quotes.

"Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator."

"If you win this competition, we will have failed."

"If I said to most of the people who auditioned, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless."

"If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning."

"I'm obsessed with cleanliness for myself, so I will take a bath three times a day, sometimes a steam twice a day in addition to that."

""Frank (Sinatra) was the king of cool. If he was a lion, you were a mouse."

"What is a Free Willy?! What's the film about? I'm confused because I can't connect a whale called Willy and what you just did."

"That song was like going to a zoo or something. I mean the noises were beyond anything I have ever, ever heard."

Happy Birthday Simon Cowell!

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