Mahindra Watsa's "Ask the sexpert" column in Mumbai Mirror had a national reader base. Besides offering his sound advice on sexual health, Dr Watsa's wit and humour, with which he answered some "unnatural" questions, has turned around many gloomy mornings. On his passing, let's remember India's coveted sexologist by going through some of his hilarious responses to the most bizarre questions that Indians have about sex.
Dr Watsa's hilarious responses
I am a 32-year-old happily married man from Karjat. Recently, I've been having mixed feelings about cheating on my wife. I have a goat; her name is Ramila. Over the past two months, I have been thinking about how it would feel to make love to her. Is this normal? Will I contract a goat-related STD? Please Help!
Dr Watsa: Ask Ramila whether she would like it! Bestiality is not considered normal and it is illegal.
Read: Mahindra Watsa passes away at 96
I am a 22-year-old man. I have a crush on one of my distant relatives. She is a 40-year-old woman. I find her hot. Every time I look at her, she gives me a seductive smile. I have approached er many times and found the signal green. Does that mean she's ready for sex? What should I do?
Dr Watsa: Wait till the signal turns red and then head for home.
Suppose two men ejaculate in a woman's vagina at the same time and she becomes pregnant. Which of the two could turn out to be the father of the child?
Dr Watsa: I suggest you write to the editor and enquire if there is a vacancy in the puzzle department of the newspaper.
My friend had oral sex with his girlfriend. He ejaculated on her neck and the semen rolled down her breasts to her tummy and all the way to her underwear. Can she get pregnant?
Dr Watsa: That's quite a long journey for the sperm to make. No, she can't.
My girlfriend and I have been dating for one year. We enjoy sex. But recently she has been talking a lot about her ex. This has given rise to strange problem. Every time I try to get intimate with her, I hear her ex's voice coming from her navel and asking me to get lost. I have done some research and concluded that her navel is a portal to her ex. I love her very much and I want to marry her. But this is worrying me.
Dr Watsa: Tell your friend to tell her navel friend to get lost. You need to visit a psychiatrist. Please let me know your research technique. I shall try talking to my navel.
Last night, I was naked, and playing poker with my wife. A poker chip accidentally fell into her vagina. Are there any chances of pregnancy?
Dr Watsa: Obviously you are a novice player. Stick to the table and ensure you do not swallow the chip either way, vagina or the gullet. A pregnancy will not occur. Chips do not contain sperms.
I am a 36-year-old single man. Six months ago I had sex with a housewife. Then, I made as many as 220 strokes in the 40 minutes of our intercourse. Today, I could only reach 180 in the same time. Please reply. I am worried.
Dr Watsa: Do take part in the Commonwealth games since you seem like an athlete. My advice is to enjoy the act and stop counting. Do give a thought to whether you are satisfying your partner or not.
My friend feels that her breasts are getting larger because of masturbation. Is this possible?
Dr Watsa: No. Does she think the clitoris is an air pump?
What is the basis of or reason for female sexual problems?
Dr Watsa: Women go through several traumatic situations in life. Most sexual problems in females are caused by males. Women often feel hurt and unfulfilled but seldom express it openly.
How will a child born from a mix of semen samples of a black man, white man, an Indian and Chinese turn out?
Dr Watsa: Join a circus to find out.
