Q: Does sex hurt during the first time? RR
A: For a man only if it breaks your heart, or you're doing it wrong! Ok seriously, yes it can, especially for women.
I can get into the biology of hymens and proper lubrication, etc, but if you're a man reading this then your eyes have glazed over by now.
Always remember that for the women it's a foreign object entering their body, so it's bound to cause some amount of discomfort at first, so make sure you're gentle. If you're an avid porn-watcher then please note that there's a lot of prep that goes into a porn shoot (look up fluffer on the Internet, if you're above 21) and it's not all wham, bam, thank you ma'am. And if that's what you think it's all about then you're better of finding a companion in your sock drawer rather than out there in the real world.
Q: I am falling for my mother's friend... I am 21, she is 55. My mother (or even her friend) will kill me if they find out! But I imagine the two of us making out all the time. What do I do? MT
A: Have you been reading a lot of Erich Segal (no relation to Steven)? Look, it's perfectly natural for young men to be infatuated with an older woman, in as much as it's perfectly common for older women to be attracted to younger men. I doubt you're "in love", but who am I to comment.
Either way it looks like she has no clue how you feel, which could lead to an awkward situation if you're not careful.
You need to make sure she feels the same about you, if you're planning on making a move. I would drop SUBTLE hints and see if she responds. Remember, however, that even if she does feel something, our repressive society would probably make her fearful of showing it.
My suggestion would be that unless she overtly reciprocates you should look for "love" outside your mother's friend circle (crikey, why do you spend so much time at home?). There are a lot of older women out there who would love to have a younger man on their arm.
If they're married, however, then for heaven's sake make sure you don't get caught, or your mother's wrath is going to be the least of your worries.
Q: What is marriage? NS
The actress Mae West once famously said: "Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution." And on so many levels she's right. Defining marriage is almost impossible, because it is so many different things to different people.
Some believe marriage is a compromise; others a friendship with sex; while many others believe it to be a flawed social system that goes against the very grain of human nature. All of them are right in some aspect.
Humans were never meant to be monogamous: It goes against our very instinct to procreate with different partners to ensure a rich gene pool. Marriage is a very religious institution, and even those who choose a civil ceremony do so to avail tax and insurance benefits and above all to make sure they 'fit in' to a society that frowns upon couples "shacking up".
My advice to you would to stay away from marriage. By all means fall in love with someone and move in with them, but there's simply no need to do anything else. Most couples in long-term relationships are married without actually possessing a piece of paper to state it.
If your partner needs a document to prove that you love them, then either they don't trust you, or there's an agenda, either way it's bad news.
And if you don't believe that, then listen to Groucho Marx: "Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere."
Q: Is it natural to feel attracted to your partner's BFFs? SR
A: I would certainly say so, especially if they're smokin'! Look, we're always going to be attracted to good-looking people and magnetic personalities – or at least those we consider good-looking. But I wouldn't go around telling the world how hot your partner's BFF is, because that ain't cool. If she's attracted to you too, however, then you're in a conundrum. Whatever happens, remember it's perfectly normal, and don't get caught! And if you are DENY EVERYTHING!
Q: My pre-cum seem more than the actual cum. No matter how much I tried to hold back, it got inside her. There was no protection and we are not married. Is my life screwed? LE
A: Short answer? Yes, probably, it's likely! Firstly, the fact that you're not married is the least of your worries. If the two of you'll are not mentally and financially prepared to have a child then accompany her to a gynaecologist as soon as she realises her periods have decided to go on holiday.
If she is indeed pregnant, then remember that it's her body and hence her decision...you're just there for support, even though you did contribute to the situation by being a complete dumbass!
I for one have a phobia of small, crying things, that poop on demand, so I would be the last one to give you advice. But for pete's sake get the 'pre' checked out, you must really be a joy! Best of luck, you're gonna need it!
Please note that the views reflected in this column (which is meant to be humorous) are the views of the writer and may not be the views of the International Business Times. One should always seek the help of a trained medical professional and/or a mental health professional if you feel you have a genuine problem.
